Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Hard Days

This whole cancer thing is getting more and more real. I really do try to be positive about it, especially around Annabelle, but today I am just mad. Really mad. So I am going to vent here....My sweet little girl should not have to go through this! She keeps spiking fevers so we are stuck here. She has sores in her mouth and doesn't have much of an appetite so they want to put a feeding tube in. She cries whenever they mention it and says she will start eating, but she just can't. She would probably feel better if she was getting some nourishment in her so it may be for the better.

And today we began saying farewell to her beautiful hair! She isn't sad that it is falling out, she doesn't really get that yet, but she is annoyed that there is hair everywhere. All over her bed, her pillow, her blanket, everywhere. I knew all of this wouldn't be easy but so far it kind of has been. Well, not easy, but not as bad as I imagined it to be. So I guess a few bad days out of every few weeks isn't so bad!

On the brighter side...if we are here until Sunday, the delicious corn chowder is on the menu. And we have a washer and dryer across the hall. It's great for the surprise trips when you get here with only 2 pairs of underwear! And we have upgraded to a room with a pleather couch bed and a bigger bathroom. I mean really, can you ask for more than clean underwear and a pleather couch!?!


Anonymous said...

My heart aches for that poor baby and I thank goodness that she has such a strong mother! Grandma Yates can make her some of those really cute hats like she made for Layla and she will be just as beautiful as she is with hair. Clean underwear, a pleather couch and corn chowder! LOL! Keep your faith. Love, Auntie Penn

Trapper and Suzy said...

You're doing an amazing job at staying positive. Not many moms would be able to stay as optimistic and strong as you. And it will probably have a great effect on Annabelle's attitude. I just feel bad that she has to go through SO much. I almost want to say that it seems unfair that someone so sweet and young as she should have to go through all of this. Not that I would wish it on anyone, but it's the little children I hate to see in so much pain. We're still praying for her every night. We're also praying that we'll be healthy as a horse so there wont' be any worries of us getting her sick while we're out there.

Shannon said...

Feel free to vent to me at any time! You're amazing. And Annabelle is such a sweetie! I will come see you again soon. Especially if her attractive tech is working. ;) Thanks for looking out for my love life through all of this. I love you! Let me know if you need me to bring you anything. Like underwear :)

Tiffany said...

I am sorry that I have not written you before. We have been following you and Annabelle on your blog. Thank you for keeping us all posted. All I can say is you are the strongest, most postive mom I know!! Your attitude is so good for Annabelle to be around, and a testimony to everyone who reads your blog that your faith in Jesus Christ is strong and unwaivering. Keep up the good work!! Let Annabelle know that we are all missing her and Scott is praying she will come home safely and soon. Let us know if there is anything we can do up here to help! Josh if you read these Dito! I marvel at the quiet strength you two possess. Our prayers are with you all.

franlar said...

My sweet little (grown-up) niece,
my heart also aches for you all. The strength you continually show is absolutely stunning. All I can do is tell you that my heart & soul are committed to praying for the ultimate outcome...healthy & happiness for you all. There is such a helplessness that we all feel & I know that you guys can understand it. My ear is open if you ever need it. Love to you all. Aunt Lari