Forever Changed

The last month has been filled with all the extreme emotions that the cancer world can bring. I have had very high highs and very low lows. Annabelle is nearing the end of her treatment and that brings much excitement! Josh was able to come visit for a few days and my sister, Moria, was here at the same time. The weather was super nice that weekend and we got to enjoy a day at the zoo too. Another wonderful day was when our cancer friend, Jackson, had his wish granted. He wished for a go-kart and let me just say that it is super cool. I want one now. Not for the girls, but for ME! The weather was perfect and we had a great time at Miller Motorsports Park watching him drive it for the first time. I truly felt such joy seeing him so happy and spending the day with his family. We love you Pender family!

The hardest part about the last month has been the losses and grief in our little cancer world. A sweet boy here in Utah passed away at the hospital very quickly and unexpected. It all started with blood pressure dropping and within hours he was gone. Annabelle has had trouble with her blood pressure a few different times, the scariest being Thanksgiving day when they called a rapid response code and her room flooded with doctors and nurse specialists. It is scary to think how close we could have been to losing her. I just never realized how quickly things could change with these cancer fighting cuties.

Another girl who's story I have been following just passed away as well. One day she was getting chemo, the next day she had complications that put her in the PICU and she was soon sedated and put on a ventilator and the next week she was gone.

A tough little boy just finished his last round of chemo only to find out that 50% of his cells were still Leukemia. He is out of options for treatment so his family is enjoying the time they have with him because they don't know how much longer he will be here.

And the most recent shock came yesterday when I found out that our fellow Ewing's fighter in MT has relapsed only 6 months after finishing treatment. My heart was absolutely crushed to hear about this. M's family has been SO supportive of us in our cancer journey and I only pray that I can do the same for them now. We love you sweet, beautiful McLain!

As startled as I was to hear about McLain's relapse, it really made me realize how precious each day is that I have with my girls. There is no way to know now if or when Annabelle could relapse. To think that we could be battling this again only months after finishing reminds me that each day is a gift and that I don't want to waste it.

No regrets.