Moments

This past week has been filled with moments. Moments where everything felt “normal”. Normal, meaning that cancer wasn’t controlling them. It was as if the C word never entered our little family. One day I was inside with the girls baking cookies. Josh was outside working in the yard. We heard the motorcycle start up and we headed out. Josh was giving the girls rides as they snacked on fresh cookies. In that moment, all was right in our little world.

Saturday was the opening day of the bow hunt here in Montana. Josh was off hunting, the girls were playing and I was making potato salad with items from the garden. Then the girls and I went up to watch a volleyball game at the gym. If you were looking back in time, that could have been September of any year. Only this year, Annabelle happened to have no hair, making it obvious that it must be 2011.

Walking to the post office to check the mail in the morning. Pulling the girls in their wagon. It felt like it could have been any other day. The smell as Josh started the boat for the first time. Snuggling in bed with the girls in the morning. Eating carrots straight out of the garden. Each of these “moments” felt so good. So right. So normal. So…..b.c. (before cancer). In my mind cancer can’t take those memories away from me. I expect that some day I will be remembering a moment, a feeling, or an experience and I won’t be able to recall whether it was actually before, during or after cancer. Because those moments don’t care, they don’t judge. They just happen, and all is well.