Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Keep On Keepin' On

12 treatments down, 5 more to go!
We still have several more months worth of treatment, but somehow the number 5 sounds so good to me right now! I am definitely ready to be done, though. Ever since Annabelle was diagnosed I have counted on her being cancer free after completing her protocol. 17 cycles of chemo, 28 radiation treatments, actual numbers that I could count down. It's the thing that has kept me going and optimistic. To think beyond that was just too much to handle. It really has had to be one day, one treatment at a time. If for some reason Annabelle isn't clear at the end of her protocol, I honestly don't know what I'll do. I'd say I'll go crazy, but that's already happened. So I guess I'll probably cry for several days, maybe even a week, and then suck it up and keep going.

Last week I heard of a girl who had just found out her Ewing's had returned for the second time. Yes, this was going to be her THIRD round of fighting it. My heart sank, and I began crying. I know that Ewing's does recur very often, too often, but that was still hard to hear. I just don't know how I could do it that many times. I don't think I could do this all over again! And more than that, I don't want my sweet Annabelle Rae to have to go through this again...ever.

1 comment:

Anna said...

I know. It's my biggest fear too...:( Stupid cancer... Hope Annabella's fever has gone down and she's feeling better. You guys are always in my thoughts and prayers.